as some of you may know, the past year of my life has been devoted to the pursuit of an australian postgraduate medicine position. most postgrad med schools base their entries on three components - gamsat exam score, gpa and an interview. entry into an aussie med school is an arduous, year-long process characterised mostly by a series of long waiting periods. you sit the gamsat then wait a couple months to receive your score. if you did well enough in the gamsat you apply for med schools then you wait a few more months. if fate is on your side, you get offered an interview then you wait some more. if you are lucky to get that far after almost a year, you finally find out whether you made it or not.
whilst my gpa is pretty decent and i did manage to pass all sections of the gamsat, my overall gamsat score was not so great. i was fortunate enough however to get an interview offer at the university of notre dame fremantle (undf). i remember i was in disbelief when i first discovered that i had even been offered an interview given my poor gamsat score. it was only until traveling cross-country for the interview itself that i could really taste it. fremantle was so beautiful that it was hard not to envision what life would be like studying med over there. i wanted it bad. for the first time in my life, i felt like i had a real goal to strive towards.
so after jumping through the numerous rings of fire and much waiting, here i stand- valiant and proud - for on thursday the 9th of october, i received my letter of rejection.
upon finding out about my not getting accepted into undf, i felt pretty numb. i dont know why my rejection was such a suprise. i was lucky to even be offered an interview. i suppose that after getting so close to achieving my first real goal, i just thought that this was another one of those things in my life which would just work out. throughout my lifetime i have been pretty lucky in wandering the academic galaxy. i was lucky to scrape into a psyc/comm course at the australian national university (anu) after scoring an unfavourable uai. i was lucky to get into a psyc course at the university of canberra (uc) after getting excluded from anu. i was lucky to get a undf med interview given my poor gamsat score. i just thought that this was another one of those instances where god would help me out.
ive been thinking about this all a lot and its odd how things have conveniently worked out for me in times of turmoil, confusion and hardship. in the past, i have pretty much cruised along without exerting much energy or committing myself to what i want to do in life (not that i had any direction) - i just assumed that things would always work out. although i believe that my exclusion from the anu was my most pivotal moment in life (it helped me realise the notion of responsibility), this whole undf experience is the first time i have truly felt in control of my life and where i want to take it.
its quite apparent that things did not work out as i had hoped. initially i was pretty cut that i did not get offered a position at undf. i probably still am cut about it. to not get accepted after getting so close - it's just so ball-breaking. moreover i did and still do feel like studying medicine in fremantle would have been an ideal platform and an ample opportunity for me to stand on my own two feet and just grow the fuck up. i guess just thinking about going through the whole grueling year-long process again, let alone sitting the gamsat is enough to make me want to bang my head against the wall.
although getting turned down from undf is disappointing as hell, in my eyes this year marks a chapter of growth and personal achievement. maybe its due to the fact that the process to get into med is so darn long but i feel like i have still achieved something i can be proud of - something which ive never really been able to say before. sure i dont think i applied myself to the best of my abilities but i put more effort into this than anything else in my past. i feel like i earned this rejection letter. in this light, my disappointment is somewhat justified, but also simultaneously nullified by my sense of accomplishment.
so what now? well i am trying to extract both the positive and negative points from the current situation. sure it sucks that i didnt get in but my not getting accepted has left me hungrier for the prize. i want it even more now. i need to accept the challenge and take it all as a learning experience. life goes on and i have to keep on truckin. i suppose it would have been a bit of a cop-out to get into med school without feeling truly deserving of such an accomplishment. this time around i really just have to focus. i have to make larger sacrifices if i hope to attain my goal. i have to put my head down and study that much harder for the gamsat. i have to stay persistent and believe in myself.
i now have direction.
so i guess in exploring the aftermath of my rejection from all possible angles, all i have left to say is that i look forward to stepping up to the plate and working that much harder so that this time next year, instead of feeling proud to have earned a rejection letter, i will be feeling proud to have earned an acceptance letter.
see you on the other side.
peace.
good luck to everyone who is still waiting on acceptance letters and also to anyone who has the desire to pursue the endearing realm that is medicine. i would like to thank my family and friends for their support and concern throughout the year. you are all amazing.
1 comment:
That's a really big shame. I have to say though that even though you may not see yourself as focused, I admire the effort you have put in. After getting kicked out of ANU you got back up and busted your arse to get into UC, from what you've told me this wasn't an easy task. And whilst I was at UC with you, I admired your focus, of which I certainly had, and still have, difficulty achieving. If I was you I probably would have walked away after getting booted out of ANU, but not only did you persist, but you chose to pursue medicine, obviously not the easiest route. So, take some time to reflect, but certainly don't walk away. I know it's going to be a painful process yet again but you'll get there. Sorry if this is all a bit too ghey or anything, but you're a good bloke and you helped me at uni when I wasn't doing so good in my life, and for that I respect you.
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